


Teach Fucks

by wormhourdeluxe



Category: One Piece
Genre: Crack, Other, Reader-Insert, Sex, anyway, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23441305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wormhourdeluxe/pseuds/wormhourdeluxe
Summary: sometimes all we want is some extra meat in that foot long sub
Relationships: Kurohige | Blackbeard | Marshall D. Teach/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 8





	Teach Fucks

**Author's Note:**

> hey, so, 
> 
> uh,

Teach lumbered over his deck with the skill and ease of a large sack filled only with pudding. His men willingly parted like the Red Sea— except not at all, because assumedly none of them were religious. Especially Blackbeard, who embodies quantum energy wholly impure.

At his feet sat his prize. Y/n. With their beautiful h/c hair and e/c eyes.

“Y/n,” he purred, “good to see you come visit.” If Teach owned a belt he was now unbuckling it. The man's barely remembered physique was bared to everyone– those still lingering of his crew and y/n both. They ended up squinting. What else was there to do, when faced with such a scoop of man meat like that. Their captain was a variably thick and bitter cherry pie filling, with none of the joy.

Teach paid no mind to his crew running as if their lives depended on it. He was not hurt. If he could outrun himself he would too. Self-awareness was always a winning virtue in pirate land.

"I'm going to make sweet sweet love to you, y/n," he promised, and threw them over his shoulder. "So much love you're going to throw up." Not that he actually would. His love could make so many more monsters, it would just be a waste to have y/n expunge it from their body like oil spilled in the ocean. "I hope you enjoy cheese."

They hated cheese. All kinds. Including the kinds Teach was about to give them.

Teach didnt even bother pulling them indoors. After all, his beloved crew was there and Treac was feeling merciful that day. No, he would have his meal out on the meal for the seagulls to watch. Just as mother nature forced him to witness all of it's atrocities, he would gift it his own in the form of his throbbing dick.

Y/n was silent, because there were barely real. Teahc was a man of great intelligence and strength. And so was his cock. A man, I mean. His cock was a man.

Teach ripped off the clothes y/n was wearing. They were in shreds but that was not even the first of the many insults to nature that was about to happen that night.

He thrust his meat into some other meat. Where? That's up to God.

It was warm. Meat tends to be better warm. Teach prefered meat juicy and hot but all he deserved was warm meat. Just a little.

Fourteen hours passed. Teach never got to nut once.

He never had a partner. The concept of y/n was just that: intangible.

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't, technically, my fault. 
> 
> I'll stand by that until I die. 
> 
> also i almost injured myself wheezing while writing this like 4 times
> 
> **oh yeah happy april fools


End file.
